The City Never Sleeps

Both helps to satisfy my constant cravings for writing.

Do not know why and from when onwards, i've seem to have the urge to write. Yeah, write, write and more writing. Writing allows me to express my feelings and thoughts around me. Never did i had such a urge to fufilled since i am enlisted close to 3 months ago. Yeah, i am graduating from Basic Military Training next Tues.

In camp, i wrote on paper and a ballpoint pen. But ballpoint pen gives no kick, thus i switch to Pliot Hi-Techpoint V5 (nah, those pen where lots of ink will flow out if you stood there and hesitate while writing. To be exact, it is those kind of pen that you used in secondary school.)

Tried to penned down a novel, but do not know how to continue. Thus i wrote a plot for a drama play, and a song.

Used my keyboard and LCD Screen, and that's as good as holding the key to access the world: movies, novels, writing, music, sex, crimes...Give me a hot chocolate/vanilla latte/chamomile tea with a chocolate peanut butter sandwich/chocolate walnut scones/lotus seed paste pastry with half an salted egg yolk and i could sit on the chair, facing the computer for hours. The difference is, i blog. I do not penned down a novel/poetry or any kinds of literature works on computer, except those that i've written on paper and wants them to be transferred to the screen.

Pegasus Coy had their company night last night. Danny, Yingxiang and Adil performed The Eagle's Hotel California for the whole company, and it won appaluses and cheers from the whole company. Never did i expected that Platoon 3 had tonnes of hidden music talents!! While few days ago, Yingxiang and Teck Soon was chatting on the dinner table and TS told us that a recruit from the previous batch performed Damien Rice's Cannonball.

Damien Rice... His The Blower's Daughter draws my attention to this Irish born singer, where The Blower's Daughter eventually ends up the theme song for Mike Nicolas's Closer. It's a disappointment that i did not go for his concert in March this year.

I sink myself into Blower's Daughter.
Cannonball makes me intoxicated
Tears flows from my eyes when i listen to Amie.

Amie
nothing unusual nothing strange
close to nothing at all
the same old scenario the same old rain
and there's no explosions here
then something unusual something strange
comes from nothing at all
i saw a spaceship fly by your window
did you see it disappear?

amie come sit on my wall & read me a story of old
tell it like you still believe that the end of the century
brings a change for you and me
nothing unusual nothing's changed
just a little older that's all

you know when you've found it there's something i've learned'
cause you feel it when they take it away hey hey
then something unusual something strange
comes from nothing at all
but i'm not a miracle and you're not a saint
just another soldier on a road to nowhere

amie come sit on my wall & read me a story of old
tell it like you still believe that the end of the century
brings a change for you and me

amie come sit on my wall & read me the story of o
tell it like you still believe that the end of the century
brings a change for you and me

Miles across the sea
I was in a lonely island
Filled with hostility and coldness
When i thought my world has come to an end
You are a beam of light that shone on me
Giving me hope in desperation.

Back to the mainland
Planes flew over me
And when i look up the sky
I think of you
Can't forget the days we're being together
Where love is beyond expression of words.

I know you care, but why do you not love me?
For me, that was a bitter pill to swallow
Why can't we be together
And fly away to a whole new world
Where nothing can hold us back?
'Never mind, we can still be friends.' I told myself

Back on my way home
Pass by the street lights that shone
on the dark and lonely road
And i think of you
when you are back on your way home
Can you feel what i feel when you are back on your way home ?

Days of pain will be soon be gone
Awaits me are new challanges on a rocky road
Before the journey
Can you hold my hand once again?
So that we'll walk on the road together
With support of one another
Towards the rainbow
Of you and me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just finished John Fante's Ask the Dust in my last few days of Tekong, and can't believed that some parts of the novel were not included in the film. It's a bit disappointing, but nevertheless, the screen version deserves a credit for turning the novel into such a beautiful motion picture.

Arturo lost Vera in LA Earthquake, and eventually the girl who he loved, Camilia, to marijuana, madness and eventually TB.

Met Tash for lunch and dinner yesterday, and had a nice lovely coffee and grocery shopping to kill the weekend. But, to me, this weekend is just simply more than coffee and booze.

Talked to Tash about the problems i faced for the past few months, and he pointed out some weakness about me:
1. Being kind of emotional (I admit, i can hee hee ha ha at this moment, and roar at someone at the next moment.)
2. Unwilling to receive criticism about myself.
3. Lived in my own comfort zone.
4. Inflexible.

Is it too dangerous for me to possess such weaknesses for too long? I just feel that while others tend to look at their strengths when they feel down, i look at my weaknesses.

TP Business school taught all the students SWOT Analysis. Tash told me, Strength and Weaknesses crosses out each other. Opportunities and Threats crosses out each other. I tell myself: how do i turn my weaknesses to strength, and how do i see opportunity from threats??

Tash identified that this might be the time i step out of my comfort zone. I told myself: what happens to me right now might be the adjustment period.

Well, i do not know. At least i know, it's better to have a good friend to point out my weaknesses than to discovered it later in a tougher world.

I am too happy to have such a good friend, and i couldn't ask for more. At least it makes me realised that i am not alone for the past 21 years.

And who are the ones who care for me.

Surprisingly, Tash was down in Singapore for business trip. And more surprisingly, he asked me out. OK, since i do not know what to do for the weekend, and Yaoming cannot make it to meet me, Nunny came to my rescue.

After doing my leg therapy at the gym in my bro's workplace, i meet Tash at Heerens. Had lunch at NYDC cafe and somehow, i just feel bad that i could not bought him chocolate banana cake (cos i promised him that i would buy the cake for him when he comes down to Singapore.). Nevertheless, he had Three Amigos Pasta and i had La Luna Tuna Sandwich, and we had salad and chocolate mud cake with chocolate ice cream. (That's the least i can do, since Tash loves chocolate.)

Walked around Orchard and before heading for lunch, Kenny called to enquire the novel of Nightwatch, the Russian novel which has been brought up to the big screen. (Section 2 watched Nightwatch together after i brought in the dvd and Kenny was interested in the film.) Tash and i went to Books Kino and do some book browsing. After lunch, went to HMV to help his friend to look for a album. In the end, both of us failed to get what we want...

Went to Starbucks but it was damed crowded, so we headed straight down to Cold Storage for some grocery. He bought himself and me a stick of low fat ice cream and i bring him to the bus stop, so that we could take a bus back to Keong Saik Hotel (the hotel he stays in currently.) for him to put his grocery. Had a shower to freshen up ourselves before heading down to Marina Area for dinner.

Had Roast Ribs and Chicken Cutlet for dinner at Cafe Cartel, and it seems that the dinner is too much for us. So we requested takeaway for the leftover and i took it home, since he could not finish them. Brought him to Giant Hypermart at Marina Sq before taking a train back home/hotel.

Though we spend less than 8 hours in total, i feel contended. Cos i've never been so happy for so many weekend. At least for yesterday, i do not have to go out on the streets alone. :)

Tash, thanks. I am looking forward to see you for the next weekend.

Now playing: Shanghai - OST of Code 46

I'm not really someone who enjoys reading books, but somehow after being influenced by Yaoming (for his constant visit to Books Kinokuniya with me during days in TP), Teck Soon (my army platoon mate who loves books) and Paul (another fella who loves books), i soon found myself hanging around book stores more often, ranking after HMV and other CD/DVD shops and fashion botiques.

A month ago, i catch Robert Towne's Ask the Dust, a romantic drama that has a strong cast and crew. See? Colin Farrell and Salma Hayek are the leading actor and actress, Donald Sutherland as the supporting actor, Tom Cruise as producer (yeah right. He is the producer.) and Robert Towne directs the film. FYI, Towne is the man behind the award winning 1974 classic, Chinatown, which stars Jack Nicholson and directed by Roman Polanski. Years later, he brings the work of the late author John Fante onto the big screen. Pretty romantic, but a bit dull. Never did i expect that critics did not give any face to such a nice production, where the review was pretty bad. Grades on the scorecard: C+.

Ask the Dust is John Fante's 3rd book on Arturo Bandini series, in which Arturo Bandini is a Italian author created by Fante. The background was set in the Great Depression era aka US in the 30's. Bandini wrote about his experience on living in hand to mouth, how he delay payments from the landlady, and most imoprtantly: his encounter with Camilia Lopez, a Mexican waitress who wants to climb up to the highest level of the social ladder. From petty quarrels to friends to lovers, they have gone thru the stage of knowing each other, to loving each other, and despise of the Americans due to their racial difference.

And i do not know why i cried when watching Ask the Dust in The Cathay.

Sad to say it is currently only running at Golden for 2 shows daily till next week. And it is treated as a soft core porn there, though Ask the Dust is not even porn in the 1st place.

Finally, i decided to buy the novel at MPH, cos it comes with a free leather notebook. And that leather notebook comes with the wording of Ask the Dust. (It was actually a movie collectable item.)

Sorry guys but i think i'm stopping here now. Going to enjoy Ask the Dust now...

The heart of a man tells us one thing: that it takes time for a man to heal the wound on the heart.

A friend of mine told me that his partner left him for someone else. I was taken a bit aback, cos they seem to be living happily together, but in the end, one breaks the heart of another. He told me he loves him so much, and has given the best time of his years to him. In the end, he left him for someone else. Till today, he still cannot accept the fact that his ex has left him for another man.

Bro's gf left him few months ago. And i do not know why. Till today, i've not seen him chatting with another girl thru mobile during the wee hours.

The heart of a man tells us another thing: sometimes, a man can be very emotional, to the extend of taking things too personally.

Sometimes, my bunk mates told me that i am taking things too personally, that i take things too personally when it is not my fault. And sometimes, i am worrying for nothing.

Is the heart of a man so fragile??

As i am writing this entry, i am enjoying my 1 week holiday (at least that is what my buddy Chong says so.) The fact is, this is not a official 1 week holiday given by SAF.

I nearly had Platoon Sgt Yong and myself killed yesterday. The price to save 2 person in that split second of explosion of live grenade: dislocation on my right knee. Now, i had to walk with the support of the crutches.

And this is what happens: when it was my turn to throw live grenade at the hand grenade field, i pulled out a grenade and throw. I have to bend down when it was about to explode. However, after throwing the grenade and i was squatting down, my right knee dislocated. 5 seconds later, the grenade exploded.

I was send to the MO immediately by OC Sir and Sir Iswadi on the rover. On the road to the MO, OC Sir says: don't worry, at least you had completed all of the major events and tests.

Was send to Changi General Hospital after taking X-ray in the MO. Sgt Aelson send me and another recruit from Ulyssys to the hospital. And after going thru the doctor, the result shows that my right knee cap has shift slightlky upwards. Thus, i need to go for therapy next week.

Now, i know i am going to miss lots of things: photo taking session, SOC, and mabey IPPT.

In this state, i must say: i've never been in that shitty position before. But i tell myself, i must complete and make it thru this BMT phase.

Another 4 weeks to go...

Now playing: Sparring Partner - Paolo Conte